An Act to promote generosity by persons able to purchase Orbit chewing gum and decide to carry same about, prevent greedy ingrates from shamelessly pulling out multiple pieces of Orbit when offered the pack to take gum from and to provide for punishment for chewing gum greed and matters related thereto.
1. Interpretation
In this Act, unless the context otherwise requires-
Orbit means Orbit chewing gum in a pack of twenty, Orbit in a blister pack or any other type of imported chewing gum.
2. The offence of Orbit Greed
(1) A person commits the offence of Orbit Greed if
(a) He or she, upon being the beneficiary of the generosity of an Orbit owner, decides to greedily take out more than one piece of gum from the pack
(b) He or she asks for Orbit chewing gum again after already being the beneficiary of the generosity of an Orbit owner who has hitherto on the same day offered him/her Orbit chewing gum.
(2) A person who commits the offence of Orbit Greed shall be liable upon conviction to public flogging for one hour every day for three weeks.
3. The offence of Aggravated Orbit Greed
(1) A person commits the offence of Aggravated Orbit Greed when he or she commits Orbit Greed more than once in the space of the same 24 hour period with the same person.
(2) A person who commits the offence of Aggravated Orbit Greed shall be liable upon conviction to public flogging for three hours every day for three weeks.
4. The offence of Serial Orbit Greed
(1) A person commits the offence of Serial Orbit Greed when he or she commits Orbit Greed more than once in the space of the same 24 hour period with different persons.
(2) A person who commits the offence of Serial Orbit Greed shall be liable upon conviction to public flogging for three hours every day for three weeks in three different communities around where the offence was committed.
5. Attempt to commit Orbit Greed
(1) A person who attempts Orbit Greed commits a felony and is liable upon conviction to daily frog jumps on a highway of the courts choice, for 7 days.
Thank you for touching on a very important but overlooked affront to acceptable social behaviour that occurs daily.
ReplyDeleteMay all those who contravene this Act face the full wrath of the law, especially the Serial Orbit Greed Offenders.
If na by force to chew gum go buy your own na!
Thanks for this PSA Elnathan.
The act does not cover offences that shall be committed on a future "Locally made but of equal or higher quality chewing gum" as such section 1 "interpretation" should be modified to include said locally made chewing gums.
ReplyDeleteNo diss, but those ones don't hurt as deeply as orbit hurts. You won't understand this.
DeleteSome people unfortunately don't view it as greed. It actually feel obligated to take two
ReplyDeleteThis is in your mind my dear. EVERY true Orbit owner views it as greed! Why would you feel obligated to take two? Does it come in pairs? It's not like they are your shoes or something. PLEASE moving forward,fight that urge to take two. Resist it. I know you can do it!
DeleteOmobolanle darling, you are part of the problem in Nigeria. People like you are the reason I say the gum in my mouth is the last one when I have about 8 sticks tucked safely in my bra.
ReplyDeleteIt should also include those who feel the need to be generous with the orbit gum by passing it to other non invited people.
Also, not more than 2 persons are allowed to take gum from a packet belonging to another.
Also when they are asked how they got gum it should be a crime to refer those making enquiries to the original source.
Nigerians seriously lack discretion. I'm so grateful for this Act.
Jasmine,many kisses!!! The worst kind are those who pass it around. Once I was so mad I told the lady that was the last time I was ever giving her gum!!! I had about 12 left in the pack but when it was finally returned,only about 3 left! I mean if I wanted to start a charity,I would have said so,wouldn't i?
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