Sunday, July 24, 2016


So White came back. After all the hue and cry, after all the complaints of disloyal animals unbelievers White stopped travelling and put his tail down in his own farm where it belonged. His farm hands had told tales of how his travelling was useful, especially since Goodhead had ruined the farms reputation at home and abroad by pillaging the farm alongside his associates. White’s farm hands swore that there was no other way. 

On the farm since White returned things were changing. Fast. The promises White made were becoming harder and harder to keep. The cost of water was rising and even though White had removed the subsidy on the water, it was not as easy to get as was expected. But White knew what he was doing. 

In the southern marshlands of the farm, wild dogs increased their attacks on water pipes demanding that they have control of their marshlands and the water resources that emanated from their lands. 

“Our lands are flooded," they claimed. "We cannot plant. We cannot build. We cannot play. For allowing access to water for the rest of the farm, we have lost our homes and livelihoods. We want control of our water resources.” 

The new leader of a group of wild dogs - the Marshland Retaliators - spoke angrily and swore that if things did not change they would keep blowing up pipelines all across the marshlands and beyond. 

When White was a new farm manager he had sworn that although he intended to negotiate with the wild dogs in the north of the farm if they renounced violence, he would not tolerate any wild dogs in the southern marshlands. “We have had enough of wild dog terrorism in the marshlands,” he said. He said there would be no dialogue and that his genocidal army, led by farmhand Dick-Tai, was capable of handling any wild dogs that threatened the water supply of the farm. However, as time went on, it became clear that he could not just kill off the southern wild dogs the way his farm hand Dick-Tai massacred bats in the north of the farm. He could not just send in farm hands and shoot them down. They could not be found. They attacked quietly at night and disappeared long before anyone could find them. And because the farm exported water to other farms, it was important that no one interrupted the flow of water. So, faced with falling water prices, White broke down and said he would negotiate with those wild dogs. The problem was finding them. The first few groups White’s farm hands talked to turned out to be opportunist animals posing as wild dogs. But White knew what he was doing. 

Meanwhile the committee that was set up to look into the massacre by Dick-Tai had finished its work and submitted its report. 

The report stated that indeed, Dick-Tai and his minions did massacre bats in their hundreds. And that there was no reason for him to do so. It stated that although there was an altercation, Dick-Tai were able to leave the area and  made his minions to cordon off the area and kill the bats one after the other for daring to hit the chest of a farm hand. 

Even White had agreed with this. White needed to maintain the fear and control required to run a farm. There were too many disloyal animals, especially bats who were unpredictable. So White had tapped Dick-Tai’s back and told him he did well by taking care of the bat problem. 

Meanwhile Dick-Tai was found to have stolen money with which he built several nice barns in foreign farms far away. But not all stealing is bad, especially if you help sort out a bat problem and you are loyal to White. Loyalty. It does not matter if you are an animal who steals, but if you are loyal, it helps. Disloyal animals are terrible. Disloyal animals make it hard for White to have complete control. Disloyal animals ask questions. Like why the farm is dark. Why the price of water keeps increasing. Why the farm’s economy is in a recession. Why they deny that the farm’s economy is in a recession even though all the signs are there.

Loyal animals ignore reports. They ignore reports that say Dick-Tai massacred bats. That he secretly buried male and female bats together in mass graves. That some of the bats he buried were not even dead when he buried them. Loyal animals focus on the real issues. Issues like how two Committee elders insulted and spat at each other during a Committee meeting. How two female swans accused each other of chewing fresh marijuana leaves and being lesbian swans. Loyal animals only say the great and perfect things that White does. Because White is great and perfect. And when he is not great and perfect it is only because of the damage caused by Goodhead who governed the farm a long time ago. One can never forget a bad manager who spoilt things a long time ago. 

As loyal animals beat their Whitist drums and disloyal animals wailed in the corners, farms across the animal world were preparing for the inter-farm games. This was a respected event and farms went to great lengths to prepare their animals. There were flying, crawling, swimming, fighting, sprinting and hunting games for different categories of animals. Because of how much the previous farm managers on White’s  farm hated the games, they made sure no one had enough resources to prepare. Slowly many animals moved to other better farms and even played games for them. All across the games there were animals who were originally from White’s farm representing other farms. Although White had set aside resources for training and equipment, his animals got nothing and a few days to the games, animals had to go round the farms doing embarrassing things to get resources to be able to attend the games. Sports animals were preening birds, cleaning dogs and masturbating horses in order to make it to the games. And those animals who were good all knew they had to train outside the farm if they had any hopes of winning. But White knew what he was doing. 

And animals continued to position themselves to take over from White in the event that the pain in his side made it too hard for him to continue being farm manager. 

And White’s farm hands continued to steal bits from the property they recovered from associates of Goodhead who had plundered the farm. 

And Dick-Tai continued to lie that the property he owned outside the farm was purchased by grains he saved over the years. 

And the cost of grain continued to rise. 

And the wild brothers of White continued to roam free with blood on their fur. 

And White walked around the farm, hands behind his back, silent, only wincing from the slight pain in his anus. 

And as all of these were happening on the farm the loyal animals on the farm were poised and did not lose focus. Because they knew that White knew what he was doing. 

And they worshipped White and sang his praises and prayed: 

In the name of the White father
And of the farm hands
And of the holy Whitists…

Bless us White for we have sinned
Bless our thoughts
Bless our desires
Bless our intentions

Blessed be thy name
Thy will be done in every quarter among every animal species
Teach us to love your will
Teach us to be teachable
Teach us to trust your will even when your will may not be clear
Teach us to defend your will before it becomes your will
For thine are the decisions, the thoughts and the glory
For as long as you choose to be farm leader

1 comment:

  1. Not forgetting that white cared so much about the farm in West Germany that he offered to help west in any way to fight other disloyal animals from the middle east. And white knew what he was doing when he let other disloyal animals kill animals who were enjoying in their sleep.


You fit vex, bet abeg no curse me. You hear?