Sunday, May 29, 2016


This is the day that our joy was made
We shall rejoice and be glad 
This is the day our White lord came
Let his enemies run mad
This is the day Goodhead was broken
We shall rejoice and be glad
This is the day our pain was gone
We shall rejoice and be glad

The Whitist priests set up banners all over the farm to celebrate White’s one year anniversary. They organised road blocks and made all animals passing say, “It’s White till I die” before they could pass. 

While animals gathered in groups to discuss what had been gained so far on the farm, it became increasingly impossible for the animals to hear each other because of the jubilant cries of worshippers of White. 

This is the day our joy was made 
We shall rejoice and be glad…

While the celebrations went on one of the animal quarters in the west of the farm was considering how best to tackle the menace of wild wolves, brothers of White, who had been launching attacks all over the farm wherever they felt threatened. The head of one of the quarters, a toad called Fayourshit rallied all the animals living under him and told them to arm themselves since White was insisting on doing nothing about it. 

“For every wild wolf you kill,” Fayourshit began, “I will give you a pouch made from the skin under the arm of baboons. You know those pouches have magical powers and are very rare. But this is important to me. Stopping the wild wolves is important to me.” 

And animals loyal to White were incensed that Fayourshit made this proposal. The baboons especially were so angry that this toad had the guts to promise a pouch made out of their skin. Their leader held an animal conference and said:

“He couldn’t even say snake skin - snakes shed their skin and don't need it. But a baboon would have to die or be seriously injured to get skin under the arm. Fayourshit is simply crazy.”

Meanwhile with the increase in the cost of water, the wild dogs blowing up water pipes in the southern marshlands, wild wolves going on rampage and the darkness that covered the face of the farm, all the animals forgot the issue of the bats. It was now the dry season and the carcasses of the bats that had been slaughtered by White’s genocidal farm hand Dick-Tai had stopped swelling and had begun to dry out. Animals walked over dry bat carcasses like they were just little chunks of wood. Whitist priests even began collecting the dry carcasses and using them for bonfires during their overnight crusades and vigils. Animals had their own preoccupations. They had all forgotten, so soon, of the baby bats that were killed alongside their mothers, some buried alive. Animals had forgotten that White, (while supporting his farm hand in the genocide with his body language), promised a full investigation of the events that led to the massacre of hundreds of bats in one day. No animals created pressure groups. No animals protested in the streets. No animals created placards. No animals did anything. 

This is the day our White lord came
We shall rejoice and be glad…

Meanwhile a new breed of wild dogs had started threatening the water supply of the farm. They claimed that the old breed of wild dogs who used to blow up water pipes had lost their spines. They began hitting water pipe after water pipe, claiming responsibility and making it harder for the farm to get water. White, moved to anger, swore to crush this new breed of wild dogs. 

“I don’t want to know why they are blowing up water pipelines,” said White. And I don’t want to know. I just know that I will skin them alive when I catch them.”

As food became scarce because of a new disease that spread through the fields destroying plants on the farm, the farm hand in charge of publicity for White, Mai Karya gathered animals to remind them of White’s goodness.

“The promises that White made when he took over this farm are being fulfilled. Donkeys are growing longer ears. The blind mice can see. The fish can now walk. Pigs are having hairier tails and longer orgasms. And we are working on a proposal to extend the orgasm of all animals especially chickens who last only about two seconds. Only ungrateful animals question White.”

This is the day our pain was gone
Let us rejoice and be glad…

And rescued lambs who were not special lambs belonging to the German shepherd A Sex continued to be ignored. 

And White contemplated which of his farm animals to fire shortly following his first anniversary.

And the farm became harder and harder to live in. 

And the Whitist priests and worshippers sang louder and louder as the day of the anniversary drew close. 

And animals crushed the dry carcasses of massacred bats as they walked ,erasing the massacre from their minds.

And White refused to make a public statement about his wild brothers. 

And in many corners of the farm, as White prepared to make his speech, Whitist worshippers chanted with tears in their eyes:

In the name of the White father
And of the farm hands
And of the holy Whitists…

Bless us White for we have sinned
Bless our thoughts
Bless our desires
Bless our intentions

Blessed be thy name
Thy will be done in every quarter among every animal species
Teach us to love your will
Teach us to be teachable
Teach us to trust your will even when your will may not be clear
Teach us to defend your will before it becomes your will
For thine are the decisions, the thoughts and the glory
For as long as you choose to be farm leader



You fit vex, bet abeg no curse me. You hear?