Sunday, May 8, 2016


There are farms and there are farms. Some farms are large and some farms are small. Some farms are well developed, some farms are run down and full of war and hunger. Some farms are influential and some farms exist to serve influential, powerful farms or provide them cheap food and labour. Some farms are loved and some are despised by everyone and boycotted. And then there is the biggest of all the farms, the most powerful, the farm that dictates how much food should cost and who should sell food to whom and which farm should be cut off from the league of farms. This all powerful farm is called Drumpyard.

Around the various animal farms, a scandal grew, about the many animal species and farm managers who had secret stores where they stashed food away from their farms. These secret stores were located on a remote farm called the Banana Island. Tax evaders, criminals and thieves all used Banana Island. When this scandal leaked, it cost the job of some farm managers and embarrassed others. On White’s farm however, things were different. 

White’s farm was a post-scandal, post-embarrassment farm. Animals considered themselves more evolved than other animals who responded to silly things like embarrassment or shame. And where there is no shame there can be no harm. So, even though a few supporters of White were named in the Banana scandal, Whitists carried on as if there was no scandal. After all, the daytime genocide of bats on White’s farm did not cause anyone shame, why would a mere scandal involving theft make them flinch?

When Goodhead was running White’s farm, his farm hands while trying to fight the wild dogs in the northeast of the farm, killed a lot of innocent sheep, goats and even chickens. They imprisoned any dog that looked like it was a wild dog and routinely let them starve to death. Some they killed by slaughtering with swords. On learning about this, the all powerful farm called Drumpyard alienated Goodhead and his farm hands and refused to sell weapons to them for use in fighting the wild dogs. They claimed that if they sold weapons to Goodhead and his farm hands, they would commit more animal rights abuses against their own animals. 

Since White took over the farm however, Drumpyard has been nice to him. Drumpyard has even promised to sell him all the weapons he needs to kill off the wild dogs remaining in the north east. However, some animals expected that because Drumpyard was always going on about animal rights, they would be concerned about White and his genocidal farm hand Dick-Tai who was addicted to extrajudicially killing bats. 

One representative of Drumpyard, Kim Sass, in a drunken chat with a friend of hers, explained why Drumpyard was going ahead to sell weapons to White, even though he and his farm hand committed the single largest massacre by any farm hand against a civilian population in decades. 

Kim Sass said through hiccups: “You see, we have global interests far beyond White’s farm. One of our biggest problems in the animal world is the farm Ran Ran, completely run and populated by bats. They are enemies of our friends Larabiya and Sraila. Now I know Sraila and Larabiya don’t get along but they are all our friends. And they all hate Ran Ran. The thing is, those fucking bats support each other everywhere. Bats in Ran Ran give money and support to those fucking bats you call innocent in White’s farm. Forgive my French. A diplomat shouldn't swear. But whatever. We have been warning this farm about it for years. But you know we really can’t support any animal rights abuses. However we can turn away and smile if someone kills an enemy for us. Any friend of Ran Ran is an enemy of ours. It is that simple. So, yes, good riddance to bad rubbish. We are happy to sell weapons to someone like White who is not afraid to kill off bats. We will just ask him to be more careful next time. You know, animal rights abuses and all…”

And Drumpyard began preparations to sell sophisticated weapons to White’s genocidal farm hands.

And worshippers of White continued to ignore the darkness on the farm and the drought.

And wolves, brothers of White, kept killing animals around the farm wherever they felt offended or attacked.

And animals prepared to revolt against wolves, brothers of White, some deciding to deny they access to their quarters, some attacking and killing the wolves that strayed into their quarters. 

And White continued to pretend that the wolves, his brothers, were not in mortal danger of being hated and attacked throughout the farm because of his inaction.

And, as usual, the worshippers of White prayed:

In the name of the White father
And of the farm hands
And of the holy Whitists…

Bless us White for we have sinned
Bless our thoughts
Bless our desires
Bless our intentions

Blessed be thy name
Thy will be done in every quarter among every animal species
Teach us to love your will
Teach us to be teachable
Teach us to trust your will even when your will may not be clear
Teach us to defend your will before it becomes your will
For thine are the decisions, the thoughts and the glory
For as long as you choose to be farm leader


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You fit vex, bet abeg no curse me. You hear?