I want to tell you about camels. For those of you who do not
know what a camel is, let’s get the basics out of the way. Wikipedia says that
“a camel is an even-toed
ungulate within the genus Camelus, bearing distinctive fatty
deposits known as "humps" on its back.” Done.
Camels fascinate me. That is why I was excited when former
activist and civil society man Shehu Sani who is now the Senator representing
Kaduna Central, decided that the best use of 15 million naira this Ramadan, was
among other things, to buy camels for his constituents. I remember Shehu Sani
apart from his afro which he is bold enough to carry with his slowly receding
hairline, as a man who was vocal against human rights abuses, wasteful government spending and corruption. But now I will remember him for spending
millions to deliver camels to his constituents. And this is a good great thing. Let
me explain.
Camels are very symbolic. First, camels live for up to 50 years
which is close to the life expectancy in Nigeria. Donating camels is a symbol
of where we are as a people, a sober reminder of how short our lives are and
how much work there is to be done. When Shehu Sani’s constituents slaughter the
camels and eat the meat, they will be killing that spirit which makes us die in
our 50’s. Only a man with extreme wisdom could have thought of something as
deep as that. I mean he could have used 15 million naira to sink a few
boreholes or start a scholarship scheme, but you can’t beat camels as an idea.
I pray God continue to give Shehu Sani uncommon wisdom. There is more.
Camels can go for a long time without water. Nigerians are no
strangers to water scarcity. In fact many parts of Kaduna and indeed Nigeria
have never had running water. But somehow we have been surviving. Our life
expectancy may be 51, but we have been surviving. Just like the camel. When the
Senator donates camels he is wishing us resilience in the face of scarcity of
water and other essentials of life. We need resilience. We need camels. We need
Shehu Sani.
The thick skin and fur of the camels insulate them from extreme
temperatures. The symbolism of this is clear to see. Nigerians have had
extremely bad leadership and have had to deal with extreme conditions like
poverty, weekly bombings, and stupid politicians. As the constituents in Kaduna
central skin the camels after slaughtering, they are adopting the insulation of
the camel and protecting themselves from the extreme conditions they find
themselves in. Are you beginning to see why I love Shehu Sani? Let us continue.
The milk of a camel is richer than that of a cow in vitamins,
minerals, proteins, iron, potassium, vitamin C and immunoglobulins. Also it has
lower fat and lactose. Meaning if you are a bit lactose intolerant you can
enjoy camel milk. Do you see how thoughtful he is? Lactose intolerance is more
common in adults of African descent than in Europeans. Who needs real long
lasting projects when you can have milk that lactose intolerant people can
drink? This is an idea born way before its time. There are tears in my eyes as
I write this. I want to be like Shehu Sani when I grow up.
I saw someone who did not even vote for Shehu Sani writing to
him saying that he did not queue in the sun to vote for someone who would begin
his political career by distributing camels. How ungrateful. Some will say that
Shehu Sani should be a senator to all regardless of whether they voted for him
or not. But they forget that even though he has uncommon wisdom, the brilliant
senator is not God. It is God that treats everyone equally. In fact, even God
makes a distinction between those who follow Him and those who do not. That is
why there is heaven and there is hell. People who did not vote for him should
not complain about his camels. If they do not like camel meat or milk or skin,
they should go and find a senator who will give them what they want –
unimportant things like scholarships and boreholes. I am happy that Shehu Sani
responded to the man by saying that he did not ask for his votes. Some people
need a strong hand.
Intelligence should be rewarded. Uncommon wisdom should be
praised. Because only a politician who truly cares can come up with the idea of
giving away something as important as camels. I thought I cared. But Shehu Sani
cares more.
Ps. Someone has drawn my attention to the following posted on his Facebook and Twitter pages in 2012:
Let me just say in response to people who don't have anything to do with their time apart from digging up Shehu Sani's past comments, that rams are NOT camels. It is an insult to camels to make this comparison. Rams cannot compete with camels in any way, not in symbolism, nutritiousness, resilience or size. Moreover, the money he used to buy his camels do not "belong to all". People really need to mind their own business.
lol. two comments: half of this would be over the heads of half your readers. and 'rams can't compete' reminds me of camel racing, aww mennn.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Thanks for reading.
DeleteThis shows that we need more camels. Maybe one should start camel business.
ReplyDeleteThanks el, am a fan.
Thanks a lot Sulaiman!
DeleteLol, Well written! Though as someone commented,many may not get the sarcasm. I hope Shehu Sani reads this?
ReplyDeleteMr Senator Sani should know how to read times and seasons sef. In these times, you have to find a way of telling your people what your intention never was. Is he really serious about getting this camel jamboree to another level sef?He needs to come to you to learn structural political statements. Now, how will he tell his constituency that he meant well with the camels. They ate in a hurry,thinking Buhari will probe it. There is a way they would have eaten the camels, if these yummy information were at there disposal. Lol
ReplyDeleteChai, I better not enter your bad books oh. Excellent article. Has the distinguished senator seen it?
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff. You forgot to mention camels mensturate but cows don't.
ReplyDeleteO well, I think the Federal govt. Should invest in camels too then! Stupid and thoughtless politcians. Imagine the stupid man telling a constituent that he did not ask for his vote! Chai we have suffered in this country- Great artcle Elnathan. Sha be carefull this one SSS seems to be getting the camel spirit too!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEl Nathan!!! You! #$%&$!!!
ReplyDeleteNice read. Made my day.
I hope you all know this is wicked?
ReplyDeleteGreat piece...
He knows what his people need and what they need is camel meat, milk and skin, he gave them, that should sustain them till next year instead of bore hole that could dry up the same day it's been drilled.
ReplyDeleteour politicians need to have elephant-like, sorry, camel-like memories
ReplyDeleteMazi elNathan YOU'RE NOTED.
ReplyDeleteI have not yet read or heard this height of sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteI have not yet read or heard this height of sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteWe all need camels :-)
ReplyDeleteHow did I miss this? I did need camel to cross the desert fa. #ItalyHereICome
ReplyDeleteThank you comred
Change has come to stomach infrastructure!
ReplyDeleteThis camel gospel should and must be encouraged and actually emulated by all and sundry for the general good of the Nigerian populace. This is representative governance at its peak.
ReplyDeleteBoss Elnathan...you have opened people's eyes...great work
Hahahahahahahah.
ReplyDeleteElnathan your sarcasm is in a class of it's own.