Sometimes, however political one is, it is good to set aside
time for personal reflection and introspection. I have been very busy
travelling and speaking and I am only settling down to do this. And I have come
up with very interesting ideas and thoughts.
As we go through life hustling, different people respond to our
hustle in different ways. While some people just stand aside and watch, showing
us neither support nor aggression, most people will either be for us or against
us. And as far as this big bad world is concerned, the greater number will be
against us, with some even mocking our efforts. However, it is said that a
hustle that God has blessed has many mothers. And fathers. And friends. And
relatives. As soon as one becomes successful, people begin to seek association
where there was none, and claim friendships, even when they once openly
antagonized you.
I am happy that President Buhari, in responding to a question at
the United States Institute of Peace in the US a few days ago, said “naturally,
constituencies for example that gave me 97%, cannot in all honesty be treated
on some issues the same with constituencies that gave me 5%.”
Our president is an old wise man. I completely agree with him
that in life, those who did not support your hustle cannot be treated the same
as those who did. It is like you wanting to get married and then someone
asking if the woman who tried to snatch your husband from you will be on your
bridal train.
For me, there are two kinds of people in the world, people who
are in the 97% and people who are in the 5%.
I have been thinking of people in my life who are in the 5% just
in case God should suddenly bless my hustle. Some times God doesn’t give a
warning and your blessing can sneak up on you like an unwanted pregnancy. It is
important to have this in mind before you make the mistake of allowing those
who did not even want you to succeed into your new space of success. That is
how people get poisoned.
Here is a list of the 5% people I will snub when I make it in
life:
1. My neighbour’s
children in Kaduna who used to make fun of our clothes, calling them
hand-me-downs, even when they could see that the clothes were new.
2. A group of
boys led by a tall lanky boy called Danjuma who never used to include me in
their team when we used to play football. I may not remember all their names,
but I remember their faces. If they ever see me on the television and think
they can just look for me and gain from my hustle, I will remind them of how
much hurt they caused me by excluding me from football. If I was a white
American child, I might have been severely emotionally damaged by this and
ended up as a bitter adult who would walk into a school and shoot several
people. Or ended up as a white police officer who would have killed an innocent
black person. And they would have been ultimately responsible for that. In my
head, those boys – men now – are technically murderers. In the likely event
that I become successful, I will leave instructions with my PA not to even let
any of those 5% people past my reception. I just thank God I am not an
American.
3. South
Africa is also on my list. In 2012, they frustrated my visit to their country
and made it impossible for me to travel for an important workshop. When I
become rich, famous and powerful and I hear anyone from the South African
government try to praise or talk about me as a fellow African, I will remind
them of the visa they did not give me in 2012 and warn them to stop mentioning
my name as if we were friends. Because they are in the 5%. I think this is
really fair.
4. The editor
of my newspaper, Sunday Trust who always reduces my salary if I am caught up
travelling and can’t send in my column. He used to be in my 97% but since he
started reducing my pay, he has since been shifted to the 5%. I know that if I
become rich and famous he will want to take a photo with me and share my glory.
He will want to say: this successful man is my columnist. But I will tell him,
get thee behind me, you 5% man.
Ps. The United States keeps killing its people of color. Only a
few days ago, Sandra Bland, a 28-year-old African American became the most
recent victim of police heavy handedness. She was found hanging in her jail
cell a few days after her arrest. I will say this again: if America is tired of
its black people they should return them to us. Suffering and smiling is better
than being shot by a white police officer. Plus I think we need real Americans
in our radio stations not these our presenters whose attempts at an American
accent is often very painful to listen to.
Hahaha. See why I strain to be your 97%.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Ayo, You are permanently in my 97%
DeleteYour Blog is the only bookmark on my computer tab and this is the reason why.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome.
Thanks a lot! I hereby induct you into my class of 97%
DeleteI am definitely a 5% woman. It's a heady feeling to be counted among the 5% especially when its too crowded at the 97% camp. O well, in time the shifts of fortune will eventually test the reliability of the 97%. Hilarious reading as always Elnathan.
ReplyDeleteOfficially dead (tears)
ReplyDeleteEl Nathan this paper never complete, ur 5% still plenty.. Before u even start the 97%(sure Mai reke is there)... Great work
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile wey this book na?
The book is coming soon bros. Thanks for reading
DeleteBut what about people like me,unknown but ardent supporter of you? What are u going to use to identify us when will show up after your hustle is blessed? Because we'll show up!Lol!!
ReplyDeleteLOL. Oladipo, don't worry. You are in the 97%
DeleteBut what about people like me,unknown but ardent supporter of you? What are u going to use to identify us when will show up after your hustle is blessed? Because we'll show up!Lol!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Lord,pls help me make the list of Elnathan's 97% .amen!
ReplyDeleteBoo! You know I am always in full support of your hustle! I've even gotten Elnathan embroidered on my veil. Don't mind Danjuma, South Africa, and those people who cannot spell your name. We shall show them!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL. HUgs.
DeleteAs ur 'Kaduna sister' I hope I make d 5% too. The writing no dey disappoint..
ReplyDeleteI'm sur of the 97% part always encouraging you with sex tweets making you naught
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMoral:
ReplyDeleteAt some point in our lives, we may be undeservedly be treated like shit.
However, we must take care lest we become bitter, vindictive, unhinged.
Strive for the high road.
Nice one El.
ReplyDeleteI am 102%! A combo of the 97% and 5%. Sue me! You kuku be lawyer.
ReplyDeleteElnathan, judging from Buhari calculation of what a percentage is, it means a % is equal to 102? I need to be clear o. Help needed.
ReplyDeleteLet me help you. Buhari means he got 97% of the total votes in some constituencies and 5% of the total votes in some others . That does not mean his % = 102.
DeleteWell its obvious that all your 5% were in your past. Since i am in the present i believe i have a good chance of making the 97%. Good write-up as usual
ReplyDeleteLol...you never cease to amaze me.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this as usual. Let me go reevaluate my 97% vs 5%