Sunday, July 17, 2016


After the song Hello was released, I wrote about why the British superstar singer Adele needs to be banned in Nigeria. And since then I have discovered even more Adele songs that make me scared for all the millions of people who unwittingly consume her dangerous home wrecking philosophy. I have one conclusion: if you are in a relationship, you must avoid Adele. Let us look at her song Someone Like You, which, before I repented I used to put on repeat and hum along mindlessly. 

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Ok. At this point you would think that she has gotten the message. I wont jump to conclusions and say she was stalking him or anything. You know how Facebook is. You can be sitting down on your own and someone will just post news about someone from your past. You can’t control it. Let us just say she heard of this on Facebook. 

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

Ladies and gentlemen, let us pause for a moment here. I used to sing along, say these words, hum along and think that somehow I was still a good person. I apologise for all the times I sang this. I have given a lot  from my meagre earnings to charity to make up for this shameless condoning of evil but nothing can make up for the many months I have promoted this unacceptable behavior. Nothing. The only good thing is  that God forgives. At this point I can only revert to prayers and say that when our dreams come true, when we find that person that makes us settle down and gives us what no one else could give us in the past may the good and holy lord protect us from evil people from our past who feel like turning up out of the blue uninvited. These are agents of the devil sent to interfere with our happiness. They are like the Biblical Pharisees Jesus referred to in Matthew 23:13 when he said: 

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.”

You may not be a follower of Jesus but you can understand his illustration. It is apt. Adele is a pharisee. 

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

This for me is the killer. She hears of his marriage on Facebook or Instagram. She clicks the link. She scrolls through her phone for his old number. Maybe the number doesn't work. She calls up old friends who know him. Asks them for his number. They know he is getting married. They know she is his ex. They know he has since moved on. They are reluctant to give her his number. But she tells them a lie. Tells them it is about work or something. And reluctantly they send it to her. She tries his number. He doesn't pick because he has Truecaller and sees her name…
At this point you are saying wait wait wait, how do you know all this? Look at these two previous lines:

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

That is how I know. He has seen her number on Truecaller. He doesn't want to pick. Or maybe he is a nice guy and he picks but he quickly tells her please he has moved on and does not want to start any post mortem of their old relationship and hangs up. But then what does she do to this child of God? She shows up. No fear. No chill. She hopes that he would see her face and be reminded that for her it isn’t over. For her. Not a single line about him. All that matters is that she has heard the voice of the devil in her ear and has entered an Uber to go and look for someone whose dreams have come true. So, if he sees her and is reminded that it isn’t over for her, what is he supposed to do? Abandon his great love and follow her? Or live the rest of his life feeling guilty? 

All I can say is that may God protect us and our loved ones from Adele. 


  1. Please tell me that you're being sarcastic.

  2. Well, Mr. John, I won't curse you. I also hate ocultic musicians. She can only attract illiterate.

  3. Thank you for this peice. OMG!! Beautifully written.

  4. Where he goes "Ladies and gentlemen, let us pause for a moment here" just kills me

  5. hahaha... Elnathan is the boss of sarcasm...


You fit vex, bet abeg no curse me. You hear?