DORIS DE HOUSEGEL (a story in Nigerian pidgin)

Ma name na Ogedengbe. Ma mama na Catholic. Ma papa too na Catholic before moto jam am for front of Mama Buchi shed were e dey go buy Aromatic Schnapps. Ma granpapa wey bin dey go COCIN* before e die, talk say na becos of drink na im ma papa enta Catholic Church. And na de drink com kill am. Ma mama no dey drink becos she talk say na only yeye woman dey drink. Beta woman no go follow man drink. Na dis tin worry me pass when I first see Doris wit beer one night afta we do Oga pikin marriage party for house. Me na cook I be for Oga house. Doris na de housegel. Dat night na two tins make ma mout open like mumu.

De first one- even if all of us for boysquata don gossip am finish- na dat Madam boyfriend wey dey come house somtimes wen Oga go London. No be say she get boyfrend na im shock me. Na say, dat day e get mind come de party wey Oga do for house. I bin see dem for back of generator house, de man hol am from back. People plenty inside house plus Oga, dey drink, dey dance. Me I jus mind ma business jeje comot for dere before I go enta wetin pass ma power.

De second tin na afta de party for night wen I comot for ma room for B.Q. see Doris dey drink Gulder for can. I bin don dey like am dat time na im make de tin wory me. Wetin ma mama talk just dey ma head. But I tink am say, Doris no be like yeye woman. Any time Madam dash am somtin, she dey dash me from inside. Even if na clot Madam dash am, she go carry am com show me. But no be dat one make me like Doris. She sabi talk to peson, no be like de oda housegel wey den sack- Blessing. Ha real name na Itoro but she change am to Blessing wen she come town from ha village. Itoro sabi quarrel. Ha blood too dey hot. Na so dem talk say she bite ha husband for yonder wen she hear say e get anoda pikin for anoda village near deir own. But Doris no be like dat. She no get bad word for mout and she no dey gossip workers for Madam place like Itoro.

Me an Doris dey go Anglican wey dey for junction becos e dey near house. Doris mama and papa dey go Qua Iboe church for their village. Na so she tell me.

E bin dey be me like say Doris don dey like me. She bin dey enta ma room dey tey well-well. Afta, she com fit no look me for eye again. My anty Florence wey we dey call Anty Flo talk say if you wan know if woman like you, look am for eye. If she no fit jam eye wit you and if she dey shame, e mean say she don dey like you be dat.

Doris tell me one day say somtin dey worry am. She talk say Madam dey send am go dat im boyfriend house to give am food and even money. She talk say Madam don dey go de man house. De tin wey dey vex am pass na wen she tell am to go work for de man house. No be say de house na big house but she no wan enta wahala wit Oga. De only tin be say Madam dey give am money anytime she send am go de boyfrend house. Doris talk say de man name na Tunji. She no like Yoruba men.

I bin dey tink how to toast Doris but I com dey fear. Doris na fine gel and she yellow wel-wel. Na ha open teet I like pass for ha body. I bin wan write letter to Doris but she no too sabi how to read English. She tell me say na only Anang she fit read small-small becos dem teach dem for Sunday school for village. Me sef, na only small English I sabi sake of say na for Class 3 na im I comot for school wen moto jam ma Papa for front of Mama Buchi shed. I bin wan write am letta to tell am say, me I no be small boy. I no dey do small pikin love. I no for talk say I go die for am becos to talk true I no fit do dat one. I no for talk say I like am pass my Mama, becos God know say I like ma Mama pass anytin. I no for talk say if she no gree I go jump inside well- dat one na for crase people. I bin wan tell am say, me, I be cook for Oga house. And if cook dey like housegel no be bad tin. Cook fit marry housegel. I bin wan tell am say hunga no go catch am if she follow me and if she gree I go carry am go ma Mama place for village and if ma Mama like am I go marry am.

I bin wan tell am wetin dey ma mind but I just wake up hear say Doris don get belle and na dis morning dem carry am go deir village.

Abdul wey dey for gate talk say e be like say na Oga get de belle.

*COCIN- Church of Christ In Nigeria